Description
In this eye-opening episode, I tackle the damaging impact of self-deception on our self-worth. I explore how small lies we tell ourselves chip away at our confidence and trust in ourselves. Join me as I confront uncomfortable truths and embrace radical honesty, paving the way for a journey of self-discovery and renewed self-worth.
Approximate Transcript:
Lying to yourself. In yet another podcast, that I don’t remember the name of, I heard them mention self-love and really trusting yourself. It brought up that many struggle to really, truly, love themselves as they are because they don’t trust themselves.
Right? So hear me out…
I like myself. I like to think I love myself. Are there areas to improve? Yes. But I wouldn’t have me any other way really. I’m me and if I’m too much, go find less.
I was eating more gluten than I want to admit to myself because I was lying to myself. And it is an interesting mindshift for me to go from self-pep talks to just telling myself not to lie. Before I would get hungry and go in the pantry and there’s all sorts of snacks because…well, kids. But I would just grab one because… kids… and generally they have gluten in them. But they’re fast and easy and I don’t get time to eat real meals throughout the day. If it can’t be consumed while waitressing to toddlers or hiding in the pantry, I don’t get to eat it. When eating the snacks I would tell myself, it isn’t THAT much gluten, it’ll be fine. (first lie) Then the next morning I would do my morning pep talk and tell myself that we aren’t doing ANY gluten today. I need to not be sick. I can’t get sick and accomplish the things I want to accomplish. I don’t want to be in a bad mood or angry with my kids. No gluten today.
And then of course, there isn’t much gluten in the next snack because I didn’t eat all of it, I only ate what the toddler didn’t. Or I need to eat because it is lunch time and I haven’t had any food yet today so it is gluten or nothing.
But seriously, the kid didn’t eat his whole half of a bagel so I finished most of the half. There’s a good amount of gluten in there. Ask someone with celiacs.
Then later I’d tell myself it didn’t matter what I ate because I already had gluten today. So my morning pep talks about no gluten didn’t seem to do much in the way of helping me avoid gluten.
After hearing the podcast about lying to yourself, I’ve changed my reaction. I still give myself pep talks in the morning to start my day. But now when I go to reach for that snack I ask myself if it is really worth lying to myself? If I’m really hungry then I need to eat something else and if I’m too lazy to eat something else I’m not actually hungry. I don’t need to eat the last ravioli on my kid’s plate because in reality it doesn’t taste the greatest and it has gluten in it! I don’t want to be sick! Don’t lie to yourself. And I don’t. I’d rather not be a liar and putting it that bluntly in my head has helped.
Same with working out. Kid had a rough night. I didn’t sleep well because he didn’t sleep well. I didn’t really want to get out of bed to do my rowing before the kids woke up. So I made a deal that I would make sure I did at least 30 minutes of activity at some point in the day then. And I did. Kids were going stir crazy so we went to the basement, I found a 30 minute Zumba video, and then proceeded to look dumb while trying to follow along and also interrupt all the fighting between the kids behind me. But, as I said aloud at one point, it doesn’t matter how bad I’m doing, it matters that I keep trying. It was important for me to say it outloud to myself but also show my kids that you can totally suck at something but keep trying.
So, my advice from all of this? Stop lying to yourself. Lying to others is bad, but lying to yourself? If you can’t even trust yourself, how are you ever going to learn to trust others? Whatever it is you keep saying you’ll do, do it. That assignment you keep putting off? The grades you want to improve? The laundry you need to fold and put away? The budget you need to stick to? The list goes on and on I’m sure. So, pick ONE thing and starting now, stop lying to yourself about it. See what happens.
I would like to add, that I do not in fact tell myself that I will get THAT laundry folded. I admitted defeat on the laundry a long time ago and… yeah…
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